Losing a loved one or friend comes with a heavy feeling of grief and sadness that can't be put into words. With this in mind, naturally, you would like to offer support and show kindness to someone who has experienced loss. Follow these tips to improve your chances of your kindness being accepted.
1. Avoid vague offerings of help. Such as "Call me if you need me, you have my number"
While you may mean well the chances of them calling you is slim to none. Put yourself in their shoes; They've just lost someone, which means they are not in the mental space to call you and tell you how to help them. They are not even sure what they need help with.
2. Don't offer anything you can deliver to them. Such as: "I might be able to take the kids to school for you this week"
3. Check your Calendar to be sure you can do what you're offering, don't give hope if you won't deliver. The last thing you want to do is let down someone who is grieving they aren't in the emotional state to deal with accepting help and then being let down.
Give solutions, and take responsibility when someone is grieving.
4. Don't make them give you solutions, make action statements such as:
"I'm coming by at 3 to help out with any chores you need to be done" or
"Are you home? I made extra food, I'm bringing some by"
"What time do you drop the kids to school? Okay I'll be there to pick them up and drop them off for this week"
Never make a person who is grieving responsible for giving solutions to you, it's imperative that you provide the solutions. So roll up your sleeves and take action.